My sister showed me a picture recently, it reads: ‘Relationships never die a natural death. They are always murdered by attitude, behaviour, ego, hidden benefits and ignorance’. I couldn’t agree more.
Our friendship has recently come to an end, and although things would not have been the same, it could’ve been fixed. But I decided that it was time to terminate the friendship. I know it may seem harsh, but if you continue to close your eyes to serious issues in relationships-that are damaging to you- where do you draw the line? When will it be your turn to come first? I couldn’t close my eyes for this one and pretend that the line didn’t need to be drawn when there was so much evidence pointing towards the fact that it did.
If you ever read this, I want you to know that I couldn’t keep you just because you were a good friend. The above factors outweighed the need to keep you in my life.
Allow me to express my apologies for the way things worked out. I remember saying, on more than one occasion, that I just could not imagine a situation that would ultimately result in the death of our friendship. The irony. Understand that I hold nothing against you, and I forgive you. However, I’ve come to understand that with forgiveness comes wisdom. And the wisest thing to do is to let go, because I cannot, and will not entertain a relationship whereby one party does not respect, appreciate or consider the other. ‘Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks’ and on top of that, actions really do speak louder than words. Know that your actions/ what you chose to do didn’t hurt me; it was more so the attitude that followed. An attitude that proved that people aren’t who we think they are.
I’d rather not go into too much detail, but I want you to know that what happened is over. It was wrong, but it’s not fair for anyone to hold that against you forever. In drawing a line under this, I have drawn out all there was to learn from this experience.
I’ve always said that people should try harder to see the good in others. With that being said, please bask in the blessings that came out of this friendship.
Because of the bad I’ll cherish and take away with me:
- The importance of knowing how much you are worth
- How much you should take from people
- When to terminate a relationship and
- The importance of being careful and vigilant.
Because of the good, I’ll cherish and take away with me:
- The fact that it’s good to take risks sometimes
- It’s good to get out more and create breathtaking memories
- I need to be more spontaneous
- The importance of standing firm in the fact that you are doing good.
This relationship will serve as a reminder of how much I long to travel and explore the deepest crannies of this world. Someday I hope that you’ll take the time to reflect on this relationship. Someday I hope you find something that serves as a reminder too.
So, I wish you nothing but the best and pray that you are successful. I pray that you achieve everything you want to achieve- I know you can. Remember that the death of a friendship doesn’t mean the death of love, support or a shoulder to cry on. We’re all rough around the edges but I thank God for His Grace and mercy. It is His love that is teaching me how to love and how to see the good in others, despite their flaws, despite the circumstances.
Take it easy out there.
Your old friend