If you read my last post, you’ll know that it was dedicated to those who struggle with Valentine’s Day and being single. I did plan to leave this topic alone, but over the last few days, I’ve felt an increasing need to touch on it from a more personal level. It’s so easy to encourage and to advise even though we overlook our own struggles. Or to encourage and advise without touching on where we are (or where we were) that enables us to support others with their struggles. Although I’m not struggling with being single, I still think it’s important to write about where I am as a single woman and how I got here.
As a young woman, who so happens to be a firm believer in Jesus Christ, marriage is very important to me. And not society’s idea of marriage or what the meaning or marriage has become, but the true meaning / symbolism of marriage and what God intended it to be. We often get caught up in the outfits, the rings, the day, the man (or woman), but what does marriage actually mean? What does it entail? What does it truly represent? Yes, marriage is a beautiful representation of Christ’s love for the Church. Yes, marriage is a beautiful portrayal of the way Christ pursued us and yes it’s something that I so desire, but it’s hard work. Realising that helped me to be comfortable in the place that I’m in now, to be patient and to enjoy this season.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not scared of commitment, responsibility or the fact that I have to fight in order to enjoy a fruitful marriage that will last a lifetime. But part of being comfortable in your singleness is being honest with yourself (accepting the facts), and accepting the lessons that are being taught. Enjoying every moment without a man or a woman present. How can you be content married, if you’re not content single?
I’ve found that part of staying content is also reminding yourself of the bigger picture: Although marriage is something that I really want, I’m just not quite ready for that step yet. I still have things that need to be in order. Things that I need to prepare. Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you’re ready for it. I’d honestly rather wait for him and get it right, than allow my eagerness to take over and ruin something that could’ve been. I also don’t want to receive something 12 years later than I should have, because I was too wrapped up in what I shouldn’t have been wrapped up in. Because I wasn’t receiving of the lessons and the preparation I was given, when it was given. I’d rather wait it out with faith in God’s timing and faith in the fact that He knows me so much better than I know myself. I trust in the fact that God knows what He’s doing and He always has my best interests at heart.
Being single has forced me to stay grounded. I’ve learnt that the time I have is so valuable and I should make the most of it, because when things change they’ll change drastically. I’d hate to think that I wasted this season of growth and preparation, so I’m trying to remain focused on what God wants from me now.
Of course, I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about my future husband or fantasize about what being married to him will be like. Or if I said that I never wonder about what he looks like and how on earth we’ll meet. I’m only human. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about it or wanting it- marriage is a good thing, but I just can’t afford to let it consume me or afford to waste this season.
Ideally, I’d like to get married in the foreseeable future, but I’d also like to reach a place where I’d be completely happy living a life of singleness.
While writing this post, I had to ask myself why I’m content…
I’m content because I’m enjoying this place.
Because as bad as it sounds, being single is convenient right now.
Because I’m comfortable and I’m really enjoying this season and the freedom it brings.
Because I don’t have to work at a relationship.
I know it’s not the right time.
It’s the perfect opportunity to soak up everything I’m learning.
The perfect opportunity to get so lost in God.
I can focus on me and the other commitments that I’m working hard to see succeed.
Because I have no responsibilities.
Because I am using this time to better myself.
Because this time is precious.
I can better myself so I can be the wife I know I can be.
Because if I rush into things, I won’t be the only one to get hurt.
I am content in this season and I so look forward to marriage when the time is right. But in the meantime, I will wait.
Until next time