Society’s Clock

We live in a society that is largely based around timelines and adhering to specific standards and expectations. Everybody has their own ideas about when people should be experiencing certain milestones. Although these ideas may vary, in growing up and becoming an adult, I realise that for the most part, these ideas are almost always the same. Although times have changed, some things remain; like the belief that we should work by society’s clock and graduate, marry, have children, be established in our careers and buy our dream houses and cars at particular points (ages) in our lives.

I’m sure that people (including our loved ones) want the best for us, and are probably concerned if we fail to meet these ‘norms’, however the pressure that sometimes comes with failing to meet these ‘norms’ can cause people to believe that they must by any means adhere to these standards which in turn, could result in people making rash decisions that can cause pain and suffering in the long run.

In life, things don’t always go according to plan and sometimes that means that the milestones we long to reach can be further away than we initially anticipated. I wanted this post to serve as a reminder that we all have our own clocks that can and will never be identical to any other person’s clock. Our individual clocks are different and fit perfectly in accordance with our individual lives. It’s important to adhere to our own timelines and stop putting pressure on ourselves to meet these sometimes unrealistic deadlines. Just because getting married young or graduating at 21 works for some, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for others and that’s absolutely ok.

Remember that no matter who you are, or what you do, people will always have something to say or some advice to give. Be strong. I know how frustrating it may be to constantly hear people say things about a particular area of your life. Be strong and be patient. Sometimes we need to listen to what others say and sometimes we don’t. Often, the same people who pressurise us to meet their ideals or even societies expectations, do not help us to pick up the pieces if things come tumbling down after we’ve tried to meet these expectations. Again, be comfortable, be patient and stand firm in the fact that things will work when they are supposed to, in the way that they are supposed to.

I hope that we all learn to genuinely be ok with where we are and the fact that sometimes, the milestones we are waiting to experience will not happen according to society’s time, but our own. I’m not saying that we should be stagnant and we shouldn’t work hard for the things that we want just because things will happen in their own time, but what I am saying is that working hard for these things goes hand in hand with accepting and being ok with the fact that there is a season for everything.

Be comfortable in these moments and with the blessings that are present, in the present, be ok with your journey and stand firm in yourself so that the words of others do not cause you to feel sad, worried and/ or pressurised to make irrational decisions that ultimately only fit in with their ideals. You are enough, your clock is enough, God’s timing is enough; so no pressure.

Until next week

Love, light and blessings

Rebekah

The Importance Of Networking (Bloggers R Us)

Happy Thursday, guys! I hope you’ve all had a great week so far.

I attended an event last Saturday called Bloggers R Us, founded and hosted by Ashlee Moyo. I’m really glad I went as it enabled me to meet a range of bloggers from similar and different walks of life. I really enjoyed listening to others and having the opportunity to share my story and explain what my blog is all about.

This year, I’m making an effort to put myself out there a bit more, meet new people and take steps towards making my goals more tangible. Although I didn’t know what to expect, it was a fantastic opportunity to network. I liked that it was quite intimate, brands were showcased and there were gift bags, food/ drinks and games. I’m grateful that I went, as I’m a step closer than I was before.

All this to stress the importance of networking; specifically if you are looking to collaborate with people and get involved in/work within certain fields. God willing, I’ll be working on a project with someone I met last week and although I didn’t expect this to happen, I was reminded of how great things can pop up when you least expect them to. Sometimes it’s just about having confidence in your ability, being likeable/ approachable and being in the right place at the right time. I know things won’t always work out like this, but my point is, you never know what could happen, therefore it’s important to try and put yourself in certain situations and not get lost in waiting for something (or someone) to knock on your front door someday.

I’m working on a post that gives more specific details on how to network effectively and where to find good events/ programs in and around London. This’ll be from my own experience/ what I’ve learnt so bear with me as I gather my information. Keep an eye out though!

Until Thursday

Love and light

Rebekah

What Do I Actually Want?

As I’m sure you know, setting/ having and meeting goals, making the most, accomplishing, having a vision and working towards that vision, living a full life, figuring out what I want from life and working to make that a reality, having things to work towards and seizing opportunities is always on my mind and blog! However you want to put it, goals are important; working towards your goals are important.

But part of all of the above, working towards set goals etc is about accepting that change is inevitable, especially as we get older and we get to know ourselves better. We change, things change and circumstances change. Having said that, it’s important to review what we actually want as this is bound to change too. I’ve come up with a couple of tips that you may find useful when figuring out what exactly you want from life, and how best to review your goals to ensure they are always in line with your vision and where you are in that moment.

  1. If you don’t already know what you want out of life, sit down and figure it out. Once you have an idea, jot some goals down ensuring to keep in mind that these may change at a later date.
  2. Think about where you are now and where you see yourself in x amount of years. What are you passionate about? Think about who you are as a person and why you are who you are. You may discover a goal just from considering some of these things.
  3. Do some experimenting, get experience; you might stumble across your passion, which may lead you to discover your goals.
  4. Always have you overall goals in mind, but break these goals down, maybe create a yearly ‘things to accomplish’ list to help get you one step closer to achieving the big goals.
  5. Create a vision board, keep it where you will always see it and ensure to review it once in a while and tick off things that you’ve accomplished.
  6. Make a conscious effort to evaluate every part of your life and decide if you’re happy with where you are and where you’d like to be. If you evaluate effectively, you might find that some of your goals have changed, you may have new goals or you may no longer have a desire to fulfill an existing goal. Reflect and amend you overall goal list accordingly.
  7. Set a time to review your goals, for example once a year. Ensure to review your goals following a change in your life, for example the loss of a loved one, the death of a relationship and/ or discovering something you love that you never knew you did. 
  1. ‘Don’t ask kids what they want to be when they grow up but what problems do they want to solve. This changes the conversation from who do I want to work for, to what do I need to learn to be able to do that’. (Jaime Casap, Google Global Education Evangelist). Asking questions like this can help you to figure out where you’d like to be in the future.

With regards to point 7, I wanted to explain further. I suggest reviewing your goals after a change in your life- specifically the death of a relationship or the loss of a loved one- as I realised how easy it is to get caught up in the lives of others, specifically those we love. It’s sometimes hard to see how much others influence us, and how much they rub off on us. At times, what we want and what they want intertwine, so we think we want what they want when really we don’t. I had a friend who had the strongest desire to travel the world- really travel. And although I’d love to travel as well, I realised that something wasn’t quite right- our versions of travelling were, although very similar, vastly different. After the death of our friendship, it became clear that my need to travel was nowhere near as high as hers was.

I don’t really want to say that we lose ourselves, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes we do. I will always stand by the importance of reviewing goals as I believe it allows you to stay true to yourself and your journey. It’s so important. Feel free to read: Implementing Change: Young Progress Makers 2/2, where I refer to the importance of staying true to yourself and the change you want to see- or in this case- the goals you want to achieve.

Set and achieve your goals unapologetically.

Until Thursday

Rebekah

Year 1, Term 2

I’ve never looked forward to going to uni before, yet I sit here, on the train, awaiting my lectures and my graduation date, basking in how far I’ve come and how excited I am to start this new term.

It took a while, but I’m grateful I found something that I truly enjoy and I’m truly passionate about. I have a long way to go, but I’m ready to take every single step. 

This was an unplanned post, but I just wanted to share how I’m feeling in this moment. I want you to know that if you would like to try again, you can, because one bad experience does not define all other experiences. 

Don’t allow darkness to consume your light. There’s joy in letting go and starting over. There’s great joy in overcoming. We are not defined by our past experiences or our circumstances. 

I’m thankful that I didn’t allow that experience to define this one, that I took a leap of faith and that I had the courage to start over. 

I know it will be hard but I also know this will not shatter me. I refuse to be crushed. Although I’ve decided to take one uni day at a time, I look forward to the milestone that is coming. 

Shine your light always

Until Thursday

Rebekah 

Implementing Change: Young Progress Makers (2/2)

Change: ‘An act or process through which something becomes different’…

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In light of last weeks post, I’ve been thinking about what change means to me, what it means to implement change, what putting my mark on the world looks likes and the best way for me to (start to) implement change. While taking time this week to really think about these things, I found that I had to consider how making a change fits in with my goals and the plans I have for my life.

I’m reminded how easy it is to forget about the journey because we are so consumed with the end destination. Staying focused and remaining in the present moment allows us to enjoy and fall in love with the process as opposed to obsessing over the end result, and becoming disheartened when things take longer than expected- when things don’t go according to plan. Change is a process that often takes a long time and when implementing change, it’s important to accept that baby steps are important. But bask in both your present and your future, because they are great.

I’ve accepted that it’s more realistic to start small and make my way up. So how will I start to implement the changes I want to see? By really making an effort to put myself out there, seeking and grabbing opportunities, by having faith with works, working hard, being realistic, throwing myself in at the deep end at times, being constructive, using my time wisely, never losing sight of the change I want to see and remembering the importance of not being afraid to ask for help.

When I think of implementing change, I think of having an impact on individual lives, changing individual lives. This is my focus. It’s not the money or the fame but walking away from an individual and knowing that I changed their life in someway, knowing that I inspired or influenced them for the better, which in turn led them to implement their own change. For me it’s about making that difference and bridging the gap between what could have been and what is.

During this process, I found that not everyone will accept the changes that you want to make, not everyone will understand or try to understand them. Sometimes people forget that there is so much more to life than being the centre of attention. It’s ok to do you and it’s ok if what you want is not identical to what everybody else wants. I encourage you to hold onto the fact that your change is your change just like this is my change and this is what change means to me. I hope that you will stand with me and you will not be made to feel bad about how you’ve decided to implement the change that you want to see. Remember that sometimes, it’s the silence that is more effective; sometimes it’s good to come quietly without a noise. Don’t forget that sometimes it’s good for people to see your change not hear it or be forced to believe it.

So, whether you want to be the Prime minister, change the way we educate our children, feed the hungry, work for the young, sing, act or dance, bask in the change you want to be or see in this world, and stand firm in the fact that the way you choose to influence or put your mark on the world is not wrong. Whether you want to ROAR as loud as a lion or creep as quiet as a mouse, do you, be you and be happy with what you’ve given or with what you’re yet to give to the world.

Watch this space.

Until next week

Love, all the light in the world and blessings

Rebekah

Remember

This song pretty much speaks for itself. It’s been on non stop repeat for the last few days and I wanted to share. I’ve never experienced this, but the words speak volumes to me and I really do empathise with Jhené and what she’s singing about.

I love this song and I really do hope you enjoy.

Until tomorrow

Rebekah

 

Making A Change: Young Progress Makers (1/2)

Generally speaking, as human beings we often do this thing where we become inspired and we vow to change our lives, our goals, our way of living based on whatever it is we heard that inspired us. The problem is that often, we think about changing and we think about the things we want to do, but we rarely implement that change. We become inspired, we say (we don’t do) and then somehow we find ourselves doing exactly what we were doing before; somewhere along the line that word, that picture, that person who inspired us gets lost and we resort back to our everyday lives.

As harsh as it may sound, I’ve found that there are many of us out here that want change. We want to see that change, be that change, but we don’t know how to change. We don’t know where to start and we don’t know how to take that first step- we struggle to get from A to B. I believe that change goes hand in hand with conquering and overcoming fear; accepting that I may fail but it’s ok because this is a journey and there is absolutely no harm in standing up, dusting myself off and starting again.

I was privileged enough to attend an event yesterday presented by The Evening Standard and Roundhouse called Young Progress Makers. You can read a bit more about it here, but the event was for young people in London wanting to make a change. Through speaking and various performances, the aim was to inspire young people to go out and make a difference for this generation and the generations to come. Topics discussed ranged from ‘The Power of the Personal Brand’, ‘We are the Change Makers’ and ‘How to Create Social Change’.

Yesterday was a reminder that we have so much power, and we can evoke change for ourselves and for our society. Also, that there’s no such thing as ‘too young’- age can and never will be a restriction. I was inspired to put my mark on the world and encouraged to accept that this is my time and I can be and do whatever the hell I want to be and do. I’m inspired to work towards my goals, influencing and changing the game along the way.

From this event, I will take away the importance of finding like- minded people, who are interested in the same things as me. I’ll also take away the fact that it’s easy to cause a ruckus, it’s easy to be noticed and it’s easy to be heard, I just have to put myself out there.

We tend to live in our own bubbles, so distant and unaware of what goes on just outside our doorsteps. London is a phenomenal city and there are so many young people who have and will continue to make a change. It’s now my turn to change the game but it’s also your turn and just like me and so many others, you can be and do whatever it is you want to be and do.

I’ll end with this: Anything is possible, you just have to keep pushing, keep working hard and overcome the fear of falling and failing. I’m gonna make sure that this time is different and I hope you do the same. I don’t want to be inspired, say I’ll make a change and end up where I was yesterday, doing the same things I was doing yesterday. This spark in me, I’m going to try and ignite, I’m gonna make sure that this spark turns into a flame and the flame a fire, because life is way too short for ‘what if’s’ and being inspired once but never building on it. So watch this space because a change is gonna come. It may take a day, a year or five years, but a change is definitely gonna come.

‘Risk the fall to know how it feels to fly’- Alicia Keys.

Until next week

Love, light and blessings

Rebekah